Dr Who vs Bram Stoker's Dracula
by Aiko Heiwa
Summary: What happens when the famous Time Lord encounters Bram Stoker's famous vampire? A whole lotta nonsense, that's what.


Chapter 1 - They Meet

After saving the Earth from some evil aliens, who were probably Daleks or Cybermen, Dr. Who decided that he needed to take a break from saving the world for a while. He hopped into his TARDIS and tried to think of where to go. He thought about visiting Gallifrey but then remembered it was destroyed or some bullshit that's of no relevance to this story at all but he's not even going to Gallifrey anyway. He continued to pace around the room for a moment before deciding where to go.

He pushed the button on the TARDIS control panel thingy and the TARDIS began to dematerialize and did the VWORP VWORP thing like it always does because it's not because he leaves the goddamn parking brake on that makes no sense. After the TARDIS finished materializing, Dr. Who pushed open the TARDIS door and stepped outside. He discovered that the TARDIS had not taken him to the planet of the bikini women, but had taken him to the outskirts of a large European castle. Dr. Who began to wonder if he should go into the castle or not.

"Hey!" said Dr. Who to no one in particular. "My name isn't Dr. Who. It's just the Doctor!" Dr. Wh- I'm sorry, the Doctor then decided he might as well enter the castle, as he figured that the TARDIS took him here for a reason. As he walked towards the large forboding doors of the castle, he got the eerie feeling that he was being watched, but he decided that it was nothing and continued to walk towards the door.

Upon reaching the door, the Doctor discovered that it had no handles. He attempted to use his sonic screwdriver to open the door, but it did not work. He was about to leave when his eye caught sight of a doorbell. The Doctor walked over to the doorbell and pressed it. The doorbell rang the Doctor Who theme tune, something that the Doctor would have made note of if he was aware his life was actually a TV show made by the BBC and that this was a fanfiction by some 16 year old girl from the United States.

After a few moments, the door slowly opened, inviting the Doctor in. He cautiously stepped inside the castle but as he did, the door slammed shut behind him. The Doctor turned round and attempted to find a way to open to door from the inside, but could not. It seemed that someone or something was externally operating the door. The Doctor then decided to explore this castle and maybe find out who owns this castle because he does not know the title of this story and obviously cannot know that the castle is owned by Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Suddenly, the Doctor noticed a doorway on the left side of the room he was in. He entered the room cautiously, sonic screwdriver at the ready. He was surprised to find the room completely empty, save for a bowl of macaroni and cheese set out on a table with a glass of a red liquid. Curiously hungry, the Doctor picked up the bowl and began to scarf down the macaroni. After finishing the bowl of macaroni, the Doctor picked up the glass and was about to drink from it when a strange voice from behind him startled him.

"Hello, Doctor," the voice said. "I am very glad you made it."

The Doctor turned around and saw a man standing there. The man was dressed in a suit and had an air of aristocracy about him. "Hello," said the Doctor. "Do you own the castle?"

The man smiled a coy smile at the Doctor. "Yes, I do. I see you have partaken in the meal I set out for you."

"Yes," replied the Doctor. "Is this liquid here wine?"

"I do not drink wine," replied the strange man.

Dumbfounded, the Doctor replied, "I wasn't asking if you drank wine, I was wondering if it _was_ wine."

"Sorry," apologized the man. "No. It is not wine. It is tomato juice."

"Very well then," replied the Doctor as he drank the juice in one swig. "Kind of odd tasting tomato juice."

"It is my own homemade juice," explained the man. "Come, I have a room set up for you." The strange man then beckoned for the Doctor to leave the room. As he did, the man began to laugh to himself. "Foolish Doctor. That was not tomato juice, it was blood! Because I am Bram Stoker's Dracula!"

"Did you say something?" called out the Doctor from the other room.

"No," replied the man before muttering "Oh but I did!"

The man and the Doctor walked down a large hallway of the castle. "This castle was constructed in the year 1326 and was purchased by me only 15 years ago," said the man continuing from a conversation I did not feel like writing the rest of.

"Interesting," replied the Doctor. "Now, what did you say you name was again?"

"My name?" replied the man. "My name is Adam Sobrek Trurs-Lac."

"That's an odd name, is it foreign?" asked the Doctor.

"Yes," replied Trurs-Lac. "Very much so. Well Doctor, here we are."

"So, this shall be where I'll sleep?" asked the Doctor."

"Yes," replied Trurs-Lac smiling a creepy smile. "I'll leave you to your things now."

"Where shall you be going?" asked the Doctor.

"My study."

"Very well then Mr. Trurs-Lac. I shall bid you adieu." And with that, the Doctor entered into his room and shut the door.

Later that night, in his study, Adam Sobrek Trurs-Lac was pacing and doing that evil hands thing. "The Doctor is a fool!" he said to himself. "He doesn't even realize that I, Adam Sobrek Trurs-Lac, am actually Bram Stoker's Dracula! And that bringing him here was all a ploy to become a Time Lord vampire!" He began to cackle loudly and madly before sitting down at his desk and resuming to write in his journal.

He wrote: 16 August 2017

The Doctor has arrived. Will make friendship with the Time Lord before biting him and turning into a Time Lord vampire. - D

He then closed his journal and retired to bed for the night.


End file.
